Dearest 45 & half-year old Cretee,
Haha, I bet you are having a nervous breakdown aren’t you, old woman? Harharhar, sorry I had to get it out of my system and mentally prepare you too. Brace yourself darling.
You and by that I mean ‘me/we’ know why I am writing you a letter for the age 45 & half. Why not 30,35,40,45,50… you get the drift, right? Because we both know our dreaded age when we may feel officially old is 45.So, I just wanted to help you get through this transition, if I may. I know you turned 45 months ago, it isn’t that I forgot the birthday ( how can I?), I just didn’t want to come and offer my help when you would be at your most sensitive state and risk getting my head bite off (we both know your temper), clever aren’t I ?
So, how has life been so far? Hope it has been very kind. Are you married? Are you single? What are you now? I am dying to know here. Although you never thought married life will work for you, you were a believer of love after all. Do you have kids now? Because although you love babies, until now at age 22, you still have extreme phobia of child-birth. So please tell me, you have got over your fear & now have two lovely kids with your very handsome partner who has been committed to you for years (because you still don’t have a been-in-a-relation-for-more-than-a-year badge to boost about). If you don’t have biological kids then have you adopted? You have always wanted to adopt a child,haven’t you?
If you have done neither of the things, then you must be single. Not that I would mind or come to think of it, you would either. I know how much you enjoy your me-time,books,internet,tea etc very much.Whether you are in a relation or single, I do hope to dear god that you are happy with your life and yourself. Because your motto was never to reach the moon or land among the stars, or to have fame or fortune. All these years, all you have ever wanted for your family,your loved ones and yourself was to have inner peace and satisfaction in theirs and your life.In the present, you believe that’s the way to live your life. So if you feel something is not right, then find what is bothering you and deal with it. Always a dealer (not the drugs kind, mind you), don’t moan.
Ok, lets stop the serious talks for now. Lets talk about the physical aspects of being 45. I hope by now you have collected enough money to fix your crowded teeth (you & I both know,people were just being kind when they said our crooked smile looked nice) & got the laser treatment for the eyes (blind as a bat you are at the moment without your glasses). I also hope and pray that our frizzy hair problem has magically disappeared by now & has been replaced by lustrous shiny hair that can be styled according to your will. Oh future happy days, I hope!
Now that the hair part is done, we now need to have a serious talk about our body. I know, our body is healthy (thank god) & on the curvy side (which we like most of the time & know how to work it) but honey, I hope you are still not living a deluded life-like your 22-year-old self. Please, please,please work on your tummy because you can’t forever pretend that you have a flat one just because you suck the air in and hold your breath when you check on the mirror and tone your legs too. I want to imagine my future self looking hot in a dress instead of looking like a sumo-wrestler (no offence to all the sumo-wrestlers out there) which sadly I think you do at the moment.
Which gets me to other two things I hope you have learned to do by now. First one, running because at the moment you can’t run to save your life. Which leads me to number two, learned to swim. Again, you never know when you might have to swim and cross an ocean to save yourself. I know, we all die one day but I don’t want to see ‘reason of death- Poor soul never knew how to swim’ stamped on our death certificate. Doesn’t look good, does it?
I also hope you have travelled to all the places you wanted to go and still are going to few more. Also, oh! I forgot to ask about your career. What are you doing for living? You have never been a ‘career girl’. I don’t mind as long as you have a job you love to do and can afford your living. Although it was never a case of career development, I do hope you have got your psychology degree by now because that was what you were most interested in and have used your understanding and knowledge for good use.
I am afraid, I must say goodbye now but here is a parting reminder to you from your 22-year old self. Always remember, you are not a girl who knows what she want to be in the future, you are not sure, you never were but that doesn’t matter because you know what you want from today, you know what your main priorities are, you know your present self and you know so much more. So don’t worry about turning 45 or being old, I know you will just breeze through it. I just hope and wish that you are enjoying your life and your family. I know you have so much more love to offer but darling you need to learn how to express it more ( I promise you won’t be called a crybaby). Also please for the love of god, learn to forgive and forget because in the long run all those planning’s to take revenge on all your haters are going to give you nothing but wrinkles. You don’t want that now, do you?
Until then
Your inner satisfaction wanting, most of the time sure of herself but sometimes confused 22-year old self
Cretee
P.s: keep me handy, for times when you are in a rut and need a reminder of who you really are and where your true happiness lies.
P.p.s: Happy New Year-2012 to all my lovely readers!!
❤UntamedAsian❤ 